Gentle and Quiet Spirit.

2011-12-27T22:01:00.002-06:00

If you want to be with a girl, tell her. Don't assume she will wait around. Some girls have trouble picking up hints anyway.

2011-08-27T21:48:00.001-05:00

Jesus, you are so good.

I don’t always understand Spanish right away, but You give me understanding.

I’m not in a relationship, but You give me peace to not rush it & be fulfilled in knowing You alone.

I have alot on my plate, but You give me rest.

I can be terrible about judging people, but You remind me I’m not perfect either.

I can’t see my parents as much as I like, but You give me friends at college who love/care for my well being.

I think consistently how I can get all my school work done, but You give me the time to get it done when I put You first.

I can get caught up in my characters while acting on stage, but You tell me that its through You I have the blessing of spreading Your name through a play.

I worry if I can make it through this semester, but You tell me that You are the God who works through the impossible.

Through people like me who have the smallest of faith.

“Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised.” - Romans 4:20-21

I love jobs that exhaust me :)

2011-06-19T21:08:00.002-05:00

Right now I am at home instead of at girl staff because I am trying to get rid of my sore throat that I got last night. And I am determined to get over it so I can start working again tomorrow. :) But anyhow, I would just like to say that God is awesome. Here is a few reasons why from my first week of camp...

This summer I am the recreation director & it freaked me out to be in charge for the first time last week but all in all, I think it was a good first three days of rec considering it was our first time doing different games with the kids. On the first day we have a scavenger hunt & I remember I was at the climbing wall & I was just checking in on a group to make sure everything was running smoothly. Then a little girl, who couldn't have been older than 1st or 2nd grade got my attention & said..."You're...you're really pretty." One of the cutest things ever! Especially because during the day, its sometimes hard to feel like that about myself because I don't really wear makeup. But for a little girl, because we all know kids LOVE to tell the truth & don't sugarcoat anything, to say that to me, can you say confidence boost? :D

Another reason is still in the process each day. :) This past week was a different kind of challenge. I always love it when I get the opportunity to sing in chapel, which in the past was like three times in a week out of an eight. My friend Jarod is in charge of the band this summer, & he is doing an awesome job I must say, & he asked if I would mind singing Monday night so of course I said i wouldn't. Then Tuesday afternoon chapel came around & he asked me again because our only other regular girl singer didn't feel comfortable enough with the words yet. So basically what happened is that I sang eight out of eight times last week in chapel, even by myself on some of the songs. Jarod said it might continue to be that way until girls get the courage to sing. Even though I love singing, it is completely different doing it day after day because a few times this week I messed up some lyrics & didn't feel so confident in my abilities to lead worship. But I have a feeling God is teaching me that it isn't about how I sound, its about who I am singing to.

Those are just two really cool things from last week. Please pray for my voice, I need it for rec, worship, performing a skit every night, & of course to minister to the children.

Sometimes you just have to set goals for yourself.

2011-06-01T20:59:00.000-05:00

So I’m making a list of all the things I want to accomplish this summer before I go back to school. Which is ten weeks. And I must say I am very excited about the goals I’ve set for myself. Here are just a few…

*What to read: finish Crazy Love, Radical, The Great Divorce, Arsenic and Old Lace

*What to pray about: Ministry opportunities on NGU campus/theatre department

*Work on With & Without a Home script

*Get a second hole in each ear

*Become more healthy

And this is just what I want to do when I’m not working at camp. Who knows, I might even add some more.

2011-05-17T21:59:00.000-05:00

I want to marry my best friend.

1 John 3:20

2011-05-15T12:39:00.002-05:00

"This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in His presence whenever our hearts condemn us."

There is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ.

I'm a horrible Lukewarm person.

2011-05-10T16:25:00.003-05:00

I have been reading Francis Chan's book Crazy Love lately since coming home for summer break & I must say that my heart is heavy with what I have learned about myself from the past two chapters I have read.

Chapter Four talks about being lukewarm & what that looks like. A characteristic of being a lukewarm "Christian" is that they assume they are good soil. And this past year at college, that is exactly what I thought of myself. I realized that I compared myself to my friends who are not as "godly" as I am. What a horrible person I am! I thought during the past couple of weeks that since I am stronger than some of my other friends, I must be a pretty good Christian girl. I deserve a slap in the face for thinking this for so long. I could not honestly say that I want to share with Christ; in the power of His resurrection, in His sufferings, and becoming like Him in His death. (Philippians 3:10)

The chapter went on talking about how lukewarm people do not want to be saved from their sin, just from the penalty of their sin. Chan started comparing lukewarm to Pharisees, how we compare ourselves to the secular world saying we are grateful that even though we are not radical for Jesus, we are better than the guy who is down our street. Lukewarm people's lives wouldn't look much different if they stopped believing in God. They are not that much different from the unbeliever. Wow.

Then I got to chapter five today, "Serving Leftovers to a Holy God". Chan immediately said after opening up the chapter, "Churchgoers who are 'lukewarm' are not Christians. We will not see them in heaven." This might be stupid of me to just now realize this but I did always wonder what would happen to those who were lukewarm & the end of time came for them. But now I get it. The verse in Revelation where it says that God is going to spit those out who are in the middle of hot & cold.Lukewarm 'Christians' are not going to be saved when the day of judgement comes. If I say I love Him but don't do what He commands, I do not truly love Him. Scary to even think about, isn't it? Of course the beauty of God's grace covers our mistakes & attempts, if it didn't, we wouldn't called it amazing grace. God is a forgiving God, He wants us to succeed & wants us to actively pursue Him. To say that if we mess up that we were never truly a Christian is untrue because then no one would enter the Kingdom. God knows that we mess up, even as His children who have been cleansed by His blood because we are still, sadly, human.

What should really matter to a believer of Christ is their relationship with God. Not the major we are working towards, not our summer job, not even our future spouse, but actively pursuing the Creator. Because He is what matters in the end, He is eternal. God commands us to love, to put the 1 Corinthians version of love in practice every day when it comes to Him and our relation to others.

What I have come to realize is this. I believe my first year of college, I was not actively pursuing the Lord. I did not swim up the stream daily, and because of that, I have slowly started to drift downstream. Its not like I have done anything wrong in the eyes of the world. I haven't used foul language, started to drink or smoke, or anything BIG like that. But my heart was not completely focused on God, I didn't meet with Him daily as I use to. Probably not alot of other people recognize it, but I know where my heart is & how much it needs to be centered more on God's love.

Not sure why I wanted to share this but if I could say anything to you guys as my siblings in Christ, it would be Don't assume you are good soil. We should never compare ourselves to others when it comes to who is godlier than the other. Pride comes before the fall. We should always look to God when we measure ourselves.

This Sounds Like a Such a Hope Thing to do This Summer :)

2011-03-05T19:11:00.002-06:00

Orlando is the number one tourist destination with almost 50 million visitors a year. That’s an awesome mission field - the whole world is coming to our doorstep. This will be an intense and culturally diverse ministry experience. The students will form our Resort Ministries Creative Arts Team. We are looking for talented students in the areas of music, puppets and dance. The students must have performance experience in solo and/or ensemble. Other performance skills such as puppets and drama are highly beneficial. An audition video/DVD is required. The students will be performing several times a week in tourist areas. The goal of the performance is to gather a crowd in order to share the gospel afterwards using one-on-one evangelism. We would love to have students of different ethnic backgrounds to serve in this great international destination. The students will conduct Kid’s Clubs at hotel pools three times a week. Kid’s Clubs are like a Backyard Bible Club/Daycamp with Bible stories, games in the pool and crafts. You may also have the opportunity to be part of a Traveling Team that will travel to different churches in partnership with GOBA to provide a worship service and to challenge the churches. The performances will be composed of music, drama skits, interpretive movements, testimonies, etc. A time of worship will be provided each week just for all the summer missionaries. This will be a time for you to be recharged and share how God is using you. Our supervisory team will be mentors for you throughout the summer. You will watch God work through you and your fellow teammates. You will be stretched out of your comfort zone. You will learn to live out and share your faith.

Ten weeks in Orlando Florida…on a creative arts team…doing drama…ministering to strangers & children. Last year around this time if I heard about being away from home for two & a half months, I would have not have given this trip a second glance. But the past two semesters at college, I’ve been ok with being away from home every couple of weeks. Jesus, if this was Your will for me this summer, I think I would be ok with it.:)

Dear Heart of Mine,

2010-12-28T20:25:00.004-06:00

Don't settle for second best. God is going to provide when the timing is perfect. That guy is out there, possibly waiting for us as well. Make sure you let no guy inside of you, unless he's the one. God knows what you are attracted to & He knows what kind of heart is going to match yours perfectly. The thing is little heart, we have to be patient. God never said it would be easy, but He knows how much we hurt ourselves when we try to take control. Thats why He told us He would take care of it all. But we have to stop interfering, otherwise more pain is going to come our way. Even though basically the whole world is not approaching this situation the same way we are, remember heart, we are not of this world.

-Hope

Mediate.

2010-12-14T18:44:00.001-06:00

"Counsel in a man's heart is deep water; but a man of understanding draws it up." -Proverbs 20:5

Mediate on it. Think. Tell me what you think this verse means, I've been trying to figure it out for an hour now.

You know what I love about being home?

2010-11-27T11:09:00.001-06:00

Whenever I come home, for a break or just a regular weekend, I always appreciate something different…

-i love walking into the front door and screaming, “Your favorite daughter is home!” and my dad walks into the kitchen jokingly asking “Where is she?”

-i love walking into my room, finding that it looks the same as i left it. sometimes its neater. :)

-i love Charity being home sometimes on the same weekends & watching a Zac Efron movie with her. Then discussing how Disney has gone down the drain.

-i love finally seeing my little sister. Even if shes growing up, her feelings towards me have not changed.

-i love that my mom makes her amazing pizza rolls alot more when i’m home. & that she is still patience with me when helping with my homework.

-i love seeing my cat. yes, silly, i know. but its nice to have some animal affection when you’re not allowed to have pets in your dorm room.

-i love seeing my sister Faith being happy with her fiancee West.

-i love watching the Middle and Office with my parents. i definitely got my sense of humor from my parents.

Most of all, i just love that i have a home to actually come back to. Whether its just for a night, or a month. My family supports me in any decision i make at college. Seriously, how many college kids actually have that support? Even though God is transforming me into a different kind of Hope, i can count on my home life to be the same. i am blessed.

I have a purpose at this college.

2010-10-28T18:53:00.001-05:00

Every Monday and Wednesday morning we have chapel at NGU. Which I absolutey love and always look forward to! However, I became very angry in chapel this past Monday.

I love worship. If its in chapel, BSU worship, or with my impact team, I enjoy it either way. Instead of having a band play, a professor (I think) played guitar and sang a few hymns. Now I am not dissing this man, I want to make that very clear. I don’t know him personally and I don’t know his intentions, so I’m not going to pretend like I do.

But when he was playing guitar, almost the entire group of students in chapel clapped, hollered, and stood on their feet for him. It felt like a talent show. I was furious. The students gave so much praise for this man who just played guitar (and he did have skills, I’ll admit.) but these same students will not even consider giving the same praise to our Savior.

Our God deserves more praise then this man did. He deserves our LIFE, completely sold out for Him! It broke my heart, I wonder if some of these students had a real encounter with God. You know, the kind of encounter that brings you to your knees and weep before the God almighty because of how holy He is.

One thing is for sure. I was sent to this school for a reason. I need to find out why before I graduate.

He makes me feel Beautiful

2010-08-28T19:13:00.002-05:00

You make me beautiful
You make me stand in awe
You step inside my heart & I am amazed
I love to hear You say
Who I am is quite enough
You make me worthy of love
And Beautiful
-Bethany Dillon

Tomorrow is the Big Day

2010-08-12T22:34:00.002-05:00

Tomorrow is the day I move into NGU. Is it just me or has the summer flown by?! Gosh, this summer I've realized how blessed I am by how already I have alot of friends that love me & support me! I'm SO nervous, I'm not going to lie. And whenever people talk about their college years & how big of a time it is in your life doesn't really help either! haha But I do know quite a bit of people who are going there or already there. Alot of them worked this past summer at camp, so thats real encouraging! And my mentor is going to be my roommate! Another blessing right?

One thing that I'm determined about though when I start college is continuing my relationship with God. I already have a feeling that I'm going to learn how to lean on Him so much more this next year. I don't want to be moved, I want to do great things for the Lord. NGU is my mission field, not just my university the next four years. I love Jesus. That will NOT change! God is my strong tower! I'm ready to look for new places to serve.

God Answers Prayers QUICK!

2010-06-01T13:41:00.003-05:00

I meant to write this like a month ago, but I never did...sooooo here it is! :)

So at the beginning of this semester I remember talking to God about guys. I said, "God, I'm seriously doubting whether they are guys out there that are obsessed with You & serving You." Its been hard for me lately just to have a Godly guy to look up to around my age. Because of course I look up to my dad & my pastors, but I hadn't found a guy near my age that was completely sold out for Christ.

Well during my weeks at the college, I became friends with this guy named David who was in my math class. I don't remember when it happened but sometime in the semester we became good friends. Almost every day after class we would go outside & just talk about how awesome God is & what Hes done & is continuing to do in our life. I was amazed, David is just a year older than me & he wants God to be his one & only passion! But then God wasn't done answering my prayers yet! :)

After our last math class, me & David went outside as we always do to talk. Then one of his friends, who I just met a few days earlier, came up to us & join in our conversation. As it turns out, this guy named Wesley loved Jesus too! And he shared things that God had done for him in the short time we all talked together. AND THEN one of the guys who is in my youth group actually stopped by & talked to us for awhile. I don't know if I ever really paid attention to his relationship with God, but this semester I definitely was more aware. He really does love God, & wants to serve Him. Just like Wesley & David.

So there I was, surrouded by three men who love God. I remember walking away being like, "Woah. Thank you God for this afternoon & for opening my eyes to things I thought were impossible!" God answered my prayers. He gave three awesome men that afternoon to look at & believe again that they ARE men out there who want God at the center of their life. I'm so thankful for them & for God showing me that Godly men do exist & one day I'll be able to marry one. :)

Darling, I am Waiting For...

2010-05-28T08:58:00.004-05:00

So I think I had a dream about what my future husband is going to be like last night. I haven't had one of those dreams since I was fifteen I think. Wow, he was handsome haha. :) It was either him or just a random guy. I'm not sure. When I woke up I realized how much I longed to meet him, to be committed to him, to serve him, to love him. Gosh, I wish I knew him. I know that there are still things I need to do as a single lady of God, like things to do to serve Him alone. I'm not desperate for companionship because God fills my heart. But...I want to meet him. Just to meet him really & know his character. But then again, I guess I haven't met him because he would be a distraction right now to me serving the Lord, right? :)

Well its true. God knows best.

What Message Are You Sending?

2010-05-26T21:59:00.003-05:00

"How do you see yourself?"

No seriously. Really think about that for a second. Tonight for some reason, I pulled out a DVD we watched 2008 at camp during missions week. Its called the Truth About Guys by Chad Eastham. Now we only watched it with the girls one night, of course, but it reminded me of so much I still need to work on as a woman of the Lord.

Chad kept asking the audience, "What you think about yourself, is how guys think about you." I guess I never gave it that much thought, but its true! I mean how many girls do you know that dress inappropriately because they think they only have one thing to give to guys. Their body. And guys see what these girls are wearing & UNDERSTAND the message they're sending. Thats why guys can be "jerks" sometimes. But is it really all their fault that they're blamed for using us & then leaving us? I mean, yes its horrible, & I'm definitely not saying its right. But if us girls are sending this message out to the guys, saying we don't think much of ourselves so we're going to show off our body, we're not really helping our brothers in Christ either. Guys have a brain that is so much more different than girls.

Guys see the message we're sending out, good or bad. A true Godly man wants a girl he can win over. A girl that he can fight for. Remember Jacob & Rachel from the Bible? Jacob loved & appreciate Rachel all the more after he spent all those years working for her father's blessing for them to marry. Whether it happens alot or not, I believe that there are guys who want to capture a girl's heart. I mean, really, if a guy worked for you like Jacob did for Rachel, wouldn't that seem something worth waiting for? Rachel meant so much to Jacob, he thought so highly of her. Honestly what kind of guy would do that if he didn't love her? Even if a guy just lust after her, he wouldn't have done that much for her.

So what message are you sending out? Cause its up to you.

This Summer is Going to be AMAZING! :)

2010-05-24T14:11:00.003-05:00

Alright so I'm working my fourth summer as a counselor at camp, Natalie is coming for the summer to work again as well, a very cool staff girl is going to teach me how to play guitar when we're not working, Nat is going to be my work out buddy to help me get more in shape, &&&&&& did I mention that God is going to do amazing things?! Like He always does. :) I can already tell.

I'm pretty stoked about this summer.

What Was I Thinking?

2010-05-21T22:01:00.002-05:00

What was I thinking that month? What did I see in them? Why did I shut God out? Why do I shut out God the most on this subject? I know & believe that God knows whats best for me...so why am I so impatient? Why couldn't I've had waited? Like really waited for His voice to direct me. I brought pain on myself. Again. Why didn't I learn my lesson from the first time around when I was fifteen? God loves me the most. Always has, always will. Why don't I live out what I know with my heart? Am I a hypocrite or what?! I'm more than ashamed, I'm embarrassed. I feel so foolish about how I've acted in the past. I know everyone regrets things from their past, but my regrets are a lot of the same thing. I believe that I am who I am today because God turned my mistakes into miracles, & I know God still isn't done transforming me. I guess more than often I just feel foolish because sometimes I let my heart direct my thoughts. And that's so stupid because the heart is deceitful, we can only rely on God. I know these things...so why don't I live them out as often as I should?

Playlist for May 2010

2010-05-13T21:23:00.002-05:00

What A Savior-Laura Story

The Words I Would Say-Sidewalk Prophets

You Can Have Me-Sidewalk Prophets

A More Beautiful You-Jonny Diaz

Reach that Far-eleventyseven

Let the Waters Rise-Mikeschair

Safe-Phil Wickham

What Faith Can do-Kutless

I'm Pumped!

2010-05-12T10:20:00.004-05:00

Hi there! Today is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice & be glad in it! I don't know why but I'm in a super good mood today. :) After I finish this blog I'm going to go walking around camp & get my Wiifit in before I eat lunch. Then I'm going to hopefully get some script writing done. (I'm trying to push through my writer's block) Then I'll leave to have dinner with my parents then I'm off to church for worship team practice. Which is what I wanna talk about. :)

So I've still been reading my Bible lately about the whole "where do women fit in in the church?" thing. Now I don't think its the Lord's calling for a women to be the head of a church. But when it comes to worshipping the Lord through song or through a message He laid on her heart, who should judge her? You can call it preaching if you want to put a label on it, but I'm staying strong in this.

But anyway, my music minister called me Monday while I was at my little sister's house visiting, & he wants me to be at church early tonight to practice worship for Sunday morning. Soooo I was pumped! Because after the craziness that one Sunday, I seriously doubt I would be allowed to help lead worship, even if it was just me, girl wise. But I get to!!! Also my youth pastor asked me & two other Seniors to share something that morning as well, a testimony from this past year. Yesterday morning I was seeking out the Lord & asking Him what He wanted me to talk about next Sunday, & He told me! So I'm now super pumped about that! :D I've been incredibly blessed.

I'm probably overusing the word "pumped", but I can't help it! I am! Also FIVE days until I'm in Florida for my Senior trip to Disney world! And guess what...I'M PUMPED!

Wow. What is happening with our churches?

2010-05-03T20:56:00.006-05:00

So its exam week for me, but I can't really focus on that. God has given me alot to think about lately. Like below.

Disciple Now weekend is coming up next weekend, & to shake things up a little bit, some teenagers in the youth group decided that we needed to have a youth Sunday. So the Sunday on that weekend, the youth are going to be taking the place of alot of adults. Like we'll be in charge of almost the entire service. Well I was in youth choir yesterday & our music director was talking about how Eddy (our youth pastor) needed people to lead worship, & possibly preach. Well some of the girls, me included, were talking about who could do what in each service. We were getting excited about it! Then, one of the boys in my grade started saying how its not a woman place to lead worship or preach. Well alot of the girls started getting mad. But the guy definitely wasn't backing down.

Then we went to youth worship, where Eddy talked about what was going on with Disciple Now. Now honestly, I had no idea my church was Southern Baptist. I knew we were Baptist but thats it. I mean I don't really pay much attention to all those names. As long as the church believe that Jesus is the way, the truth, & the life, we're good. But as it turns out, my church believes the same. That a woman cannot lead worship or preach to the congregation. Needless to say, I was mad. I had no idea that it was an issue, not just with my church, but with alot of Baptist!

God works through all people. Male & female. And if God gave a woman a burden to share something from the scripture to her church, why should anyone stop her? I completely honor that a man is suppose to be the head of the household, I know without a doubt that is God's will. But when its comes just to being a Christian, why do people judge gender still?! I don't understand it, what makes a man more powerful than a woman in the world's eyes to share gospel? God sees us all as the same. He loves every single one of us the same way. I love my church, don't get me wrong, I really do. But I'm frustrated that certain people think that women can't preach the word of God.

Oh God. What is happening with Your church?

My Great Day Went Down in a Second.

2010-04-29T22:44:00.001-05:00

Have you ever been so mad/frustated that you wanted to cry? Thats how I feel right now.

Women Can...

2010-04-20T09:28:00.001-05:00

Women can splash the wolrd with the love of Christ...through kindness, caring, touching, meeting needs, and telling of their love for Christ. -Esther Burroughs

This Girl Has ALOT on Her Mind

2010-04-19T21:42:00.003-05:00

So hello there again. Right now I have so many thoughts going on in my head. Actually I've had them in there since yesterday. Maybe I'll cover everything here.

The rest of my humble week was ok I suppose. I completely messed up on my day to see the sun rise which I was very disappointed in myself. When I woke up it was already light outside. Bummer? I think so. So another day in the upcoming weeks I'll try again, BUT plan ahead! This week I'm focusing on self control. Today, I promised myself I would not over eat! Its a ridculous thing to do, I know. But still it IS self control & its taking care of your body right? :) I forgot to mention it but each week I have a Bible verse to go along with the quality I'm focusing on that week. I memorize it, & say it each day! Last week it was, "But a servant of the Lord must not quarrel, but be gentle to all. Able to teach, patient, in humility, correcting those who are in opposition."-2 Timothy 2:24-25a. This week its, "To knowledge self control, to self control perseverance, to perseverance godliness." 2 Peter 1:6. But yeah, I'm kind of making up each day as I go along because I didn't think ahead. I know, I'm usually a person who plans ahead & knows whats going on in two weeks. Well thats hasn't happened lately.

School does that to you. You have plans to go to church then BAM! You remember you have to catch up on homework. :/ I'm starting to dread going to school full time next semester. I mean honestly, I'm SO ready for school to be over with. Like I'm ready to go face the world! But I know I still have alot of steps to take. Ugh. I know the right (or smart as people would say) thing to do is go to college. I just don't have the motivation at the moment. What a great thing to say, huh? I'm a few weeks away from graduating high school & I'm content where I am. Maybe its because I don't want to leave home yet. Whether its I want to stay to help out at CAST or I want to minister with my youth group more, I don't know. I'm still so confused. I got my classes for NGU in the fall. Its a good starting schedule, my last class is 3-5 on Thursday, so I'll be home at 7. Which is good because I didn't want to wait until Friday to come home. :) At least not for my first semester away. But unless God says otherwise, I think I still plan on going to North Greenville in the fall. I mean everything is filled out & ready for me to come down there. Maybe God will do a work in me in the summer or when I'm down there later this year & I'll see its His plan for me. I'm still praying & keeping my eyes open!

Today after class I talked to this guy named David. Now I've known him for awhile. Hes in my math class so we see each other somewhat often, & he led one of my best friends to the Lord! How crazy awesome is that?! :) But anyway I was talking to him today & he said that he ran four miles before class. Now I usually don't get jealous, but when he told me that, I was envious haha. What a weird thing to be jealous of, right? I mean I can't even run a mile, maybe walk one but definitely not run! I think its time I start working out again. I was doing really well at the beginning of the semester with that & having my devotion. But I kinda cut out working out lately because I want to sleep in later, haha. I think David might have inspired me today to get back in it!

By the way, we have a show coming up at CAST soon. Its the first show I've stage managed & I'm the principal in it. Its called Bang Bang, You're Dead. If you wanted directions or anything like that let me know! Heres some links to things about the play & inspired the author of the play. http://www.facebook.com/mollie.e.jones#!/notes/mollie-elisabeth-jones/bang-bang-youre-dead-an-extension-of-emilees-note/383409496847 & http://www.facebook.com/mollie.e.jones#!/note.php?note_id=386849537154 (The people who wrote these notes are in the play too!) This show will be AMAZING! Trust me, don't miss out on this one! It has such a important message to it, & the cast has all worked SO hard. It really has paid off.

Anyway, I need to get off of here. If I'm going to start working out again tomorrow, I need to be up at eight! I'm dreading & looking forward to it at the same time. Am I weird? I think so.

A Little Update.

2010-04-13T21:48:00.002-05:00

Hello there! So just dropped in to give a little update of my humility week so far. :) So first off, I was super excited yesterday morning to start my day barefoot! It felt so weird going to my math class barefoot. I definitely felt the stares of everyone I passed. But I wasn't ashamed. Because didn't God say we're supposed to be set apart for a reason? Because its His love that changes us. :) But anyway, I had alot of people ask why I was barefoot. So of course I told them the whole story why I was doing it and how this week I was trying to become more humble. I thought it was such a God thing that the first week, my first day of this challenge, I picked being barefoot. Something that gets people attention for them to ask me, & for me to share with them what Gods been doing in my life. I'm not saying, "Oh my gosh, I'm so cool! I did good picking that out for my first day!" I'm not trying to say that at all. That was a God thing. And I really hope I made some people I talked to really think. Because the whole point of me doing all of this is not for my glory, but for His. For me to become a better wife for my future spouse & a better woman of God as well. But anyway, so I went the WHOLE day barefoot. Yep, you heard me right! I had to go through the drive through picking up dinner (haha) & my feet hurt so bad last night. But it was worth it! They are so many kids who don't have the luxury I do; putting on shoes the next day & scrubbing their feet clean from the past day. Honestly it gave me a new appreciation for them. I think I'm going to order a pair of TOMS shoes when I have enough money again.

So next, today was my day without makeup. Alright so I figured out something very vain about myself today. I found out that I'm one of those girls who if she doesn't look good, she doesn't feel good. I realized that when I got home after rehearsal. I mean I had a few hectic things going on today, but I was just so cranky. And I realized why. I have let makeup become a daily thing for me to feel good about myself. I'm ashamed. I wish I wasn't like that, but I am. I wish I could change that, & you know what? I'm going to try to find a way to change that. I don't know if that means I'll stop wearing so much makeup or stop wearing makeup period, but I need to stop focusing on looks. I was actually doing my devotion this morning, & as I was talking to God, I knew this was a day I needed to face. Because people need to see me as I really am. How God created me. Especially my future spouse. Now I'm not sure if he is in my life right now, but I need to get use to the fact that guys will see me without makeup. And really, whats wrong with that? My future spouse needs to know what I look like without all the junk on my face, to appreciate my real beauty. And not only him, but I need to be more attracted to his heart & character than anything else.

Thats what this challenge is suppose to be about. Focusing on the heart more than whats outside.

Let the challenge begin!

2010-04-10T21:26:00.005-05:00

Ok, so you know my last post when I was talking about that I'm going to work on the qualities I want in a guy? That I was going to take each one week by week & work on it for myself? Yeah that. Well I've decided that this week will be...*trumpet plays for dramatic affect* Humility! I'm going to start my challenge tomorrow! :)

I've decided that to make my challenge more "challenging" Monday through Friday I'm going to take something out of my life so I can really appreciate it this week. Hence, Humility. One day I'm going to go barefoot the whole day (I couldn't go barefoot for the TOMS shoe day this past Thursday anyway), another day I'm going to go without makeup for the entire day, another day I'm going to wake up way earlier than needed to watch the sunrise, go without facebook for a day, & for the last day I'm going to serve my mom around the house with whatever she needs without complaining.

I'm excited to really focusing on being humble this next week & what God is going to do with me. :) Also every week, as each quality is being added, I'm going to wake up & have my devotion before my day starts. I've been doing good thankfully lately with having time with God before I get on facebook. I just hope I can keep it up! I really do already see a change in me, & that excites me beyond belief! I'll keep you updated!

"You can't attract a Boaz until you're a Ruth."

2010-04-06T15:47:00.005-05:00

So its a beautiful day outside. If you haven't spent any time outside yet, I encourage you to. :) I already had my devotion, wrote in my journal, & walked outside. I might even wash my car. I'm just taking a break from the sun before I go out back again!

I talked to one of my favorite people ever earlier today! Her name is Katie, shes sixteen & I know her from camp. She worked last summer for her first time & we're both working again this summer. Katie is so awesome, shes somebody who is younger than me but I admire how daily she seeks out our Lord. Anyway, whenever me & her talked, we get on the issue of guys. Both of us are always finding new ways to make waiting for our future husbands worth while. We love our husbands already & we want to give everything to them. But you know, sometimes we get impatient, cause we're human.

So anyway I was talking to her today & she told me that lately shes been making a list of what she wants in a guy. But not only she is praying God is shaping him into that, but shes working on developing those habits herself! I was reading a book by Jackie Kendall & she writes that, "You can't attract a Boaz until you're a Ruth." What better way to live that quote out than to work on the qualities you want in a husband than to start working on yourself? But remember it shouldn't be qualities that are ridiculous like, "He has to buy me expensive stuff", or "He needs to have dark hair", etc. They should be more about your character, your relationship with God, your heart. Like "He grows in the Lord daily". Stuff like that.

For my challenge over the few weeks, I'm going to working on becoming the kind of woman version of what I want my future husband to be like. I'm going to take each quality week by week. I'll keep you updated. :)

Will you serve Him beloved?

2010-04-01T09:19:00.000-05:00

So this won't be to long because I have to get ready for my math test at one soon. But in my devotion this morning, it had the verse Matthew6:24 & it was talking about how you can't serve two things whole heartily. Like you can't be a vegetarian & a great hunter. It just doesn't work that way. The same is true with God & the world. The Bible says, "No one can serve two masters, either he will hate the one or love the other or he will be devoted to the one & despise the other. You cannot serve both God & money." Now growing up, whenever I read that verse, I was like, "Well I honestly don't care that much for money, so I'm good! Next!" But thats not what this verse is saying. Money is a symbol of a worldly desire. Its the worldly desires that can control us & steal away our attention from God.

I know I need to reevaluate my priorities in order to fully serve God. As a start, I'm not going to get on facebook until I have time with the Lord each day. The book mention if people saw what you did in your free time, would they see God in that? Now I know facebook isn't the most awful thing in the world but I do get on it alot before I spend time with God. & that needs to change.

I encourage you to reevaluate your priorities & see what God wants you to change in your life in order for Him to become the desire of your heart. He gave up His beloved son for us, so don't we need to give up our life for Him?

Rambling.

2010-03-13T21:48:00.001-06:00

Wow. There really aren't that many guys out there who are on fire for the Lord. I got the chance to talk to my mentor a little tonight & I talked to her about things I've been facing lately & she mentioned that they weren't alot of passionate godly guys out there. Its so sad, I know alot of wonderful women who want to serve the Lord with everything in them, but I know so very few guys who put the Lord first. I know, at the most, a handful? Now I'm not bashing on guys, I love my brothers in Christ. But I do find it strange that its easier to find strong Christian girls than guys.

I started reading "Answering the Guy Questions" by Leslie Ludy last night. Ok, if you don't know about this woman, you should! She & her husband have this amazing love story of how God brought them together, its told in their book, "When God Writes Your Love Story". But anyway, the book I'm reading by her now is all about guys right now in the modern world. She explains in her first chapter how there are two types of men: Metro Males & Animalistic Manhood. Metro Males is explained as men being more feminie than strong. This verison is wrong in Leslie's eyes (& mine) because when guys are like this, they lose one of the most important qualities God has given them. To protect! It is the man's job to be the head of the relationship, thats the way God intended it to be at least. Animalistic manhood is the exact opposite, the men take their job to highly as the one in charge by making the woman their servant. Putting on the front that they're full of honor & nobility just to get you into bed.

Well, which one would you choose? Neither right? But the beautiful thing about our Lord is that when He is the one & only passion in a guy's heart, another type of guy emerges. :) This one is called: Warrior poet Manhood. A warrior poet is a man who has chosen to deny himself, take up his cross, and follow Christ. He seeks not to draw attention to himself, but to draw eyes to Jesus.

Leslie goes on in the book to explain a little bit of what drew her to her husband Eric. (This is my favorite part so far in the book!) She said that after having conversations with Eric, she wouldn't be thinking about him, she would think about God. Leslie went home & pour opened her Bible, wanting to have the same passion Eric had for the Lord! Eric didn't ignore his sisters in Christ, but he also didn't lead them on either. He respected his future wife already. He wasn't pursuing the opposite sex, he was pursuing God. He sought out loners & outcasts, people others usually overlook.

What a wonderful man to have as a husband! I've also figured out while reading this book that I also have a job. And you my sisters in Christ do as well to your brothers. We need to set our standards high. Start encouraging them more than bringing them down. I read in a book somewhere, I think the author was Joshua Harris, that a man told him after he got married to a good friend of Joshua's that this man thank him for being so honorable to his wife. Joshua treated this girl as if already she was married even when she was single! He didn't lead her on, but he encouraged her daily in her walk with God. Joshua was mindful of his future wife, but also of his good lady friends & their future husbands. And I think we as girls should be the same. Not only do I strongly believe that we need to live as if God is right by our side watching our every move (because He is!), but also we need to live as if our future husband was right by our side as well.

I need to get to bed. But I couldn't until I rambled on a little bit. :)

It will happen one day.

2010-03-01T19:27:00.000-06:00

One day I'll be able to say "I love you" to a guy.
One day I'll have a guy who strives to love me like Christ does.
One day I'll have a guy who makes me have butterflies each time I see him.
One day I'll have someone who knows what I've been through in the past & understands why I am the way I am.
One day I'll have a guy who wants to kick the guys' butt who have hurt me in the past.
One day I'll have a guy who loves me & doesn't care how crazy I get. Cause he'll be as crazy as I am.
One day I'll have a guy who loves & treasures me because I've saved so much for him.
One day I'll be able to team up with a guy to serve the Lord.
One day I'll meet a guy I can grow old with.
One day I'll have a guy who is chivalrous & fights for me.
One day I'll have a guy who has to go through the Lord & my parents before he can have my heart.
One day God will send that guy into my life & everything I've been working for, waiting for, dreaming about will start.

I can't wait for that day :)

2010-02-17T14:56:00.000-06:00

So valentine's day just passed, aka single awareness day. haha :) It's not like I'm not happy for my friends who are in a relationship, its just...I think its a silly holiday. Alot of couples use this holiday as a way to celebrate their love. I think couples should always celebrate their love, not just one day a year! (Really I'm talking about marriage couples.) Of course I love that my dad always gives me something, like flowers of chocolates on Vday. (Because hes the most important guy in my life!)

But for me, Valentines day has been different the past few years. Instead of being down & sad not having a boyfriend, I think more of my future husband. Alot of people still don't understand or care about the concept of waiting & that really bugs me. Of course I can't wait to meet my prince charming. (To be honest I want to meet him now! :)) But some people date just to date & thats something I'm very opinionated about.

I'm keeping my eyes open for the guy God created for me, don't you even worry! I guess because I want to know him, even if I weren't to date him just yet, I just want to know about his character, his family, people he hangs out with. Yeah its rough, but I rather wait than have some random guy break my heart.

You know what I love?

2010-02-08T08:32:00.000-06:00

You know what I love about God? How He changes us. I mean, think about it. If God never came into your life, where would you be right now? I'm sure that 1, I would not appreciate my parents, 2 I would have a lot less friends & 3 I would not have that good of a education I'm sure.

But it never ceases to amaze me how God is still by our side, no matter what we've done in the past or what we still do. No human relationship has that kind of love, even though we should.

God has given me incredible opportunities lately. A few weeks ago, the children's pastor at my church came up & talked to me & two other friends of mine from camp. He was wondering if we would be willing to share camp songs with kids on Sunday nights. We were like sure, although I wasn't quite sure why he was asking us this. Later on, me & and my friends went to have lunch with him, his wife, & two other people. Why they asked us is because they wanted to start something on Sunday nights called Kidslife. It's kinda like a worship for kids & their parents. :)

Yesterday was our first time doing it. As I was playing with the kids, leading worship I felt so at peace. Like this what I'm suppose to be doing right now, this what I'm meant to do to praise His name. Just kids life & camp is really the only opportunity really for me when I get to minister to kids. But its SO much fun when I get to. I love seeing how different kids are from teenagers. They're alot more outspoken, they're alot more energetic, they don't care whose watching them, & even sometimes, they're alot stronger in their faith than teenagers.

I don't know, I just think even I could be alot more like the kids at my church. Being more excited to worship God, having the energy they have & just being excited about life in general. I think all of us should pull out that child like faith in us every once in awhile & stop being so depressed about whats going on in the world. The kids don't care, they just want to worship God, why shouldn't we be the same?

Maybe I'm Not as Ready as I Thought

2009-11-23T21:29:00.000-06:00

I've been thinking about this for the longest time. My 18th birthday is less than three months away. That means I'll be allowed to date...the question is, will I be ready? It didn't occur to me until the middle of October that maybe I won't be ready to date by then. What really scares me, what if my judgement is clouded?

I've always been safe over my parent's rule. Both of them, especially my dad (haha), have always made sure I be careful by how close I get to a guy. I've always told guys upfront too, that I'm not allowed to date until I'm eighteen, & if they really like me, they'll wait. Both times that has happened...it hasn't ended well. Which has been hard on me, but I know that it wasn't God's will for me to be with them. When I finally toke a step back, I saw that they were both not mature in God as they let on. Which was stupid on both of our parts. So you can learn about what to look for in a guy, even if you're not in a "relationship".

The thing is, how can I be trusted to hold up the spiritual side of a relationship? I'm tired of doing that! Of being more spiritual than the guy I'm attracted to. It's so frustating to me to know one can become so close to God by a few easy steps, but they chose not to for whatever reason, mainly laziness. (Not just in guys, but girls too)

How could a guy be out there for me? Is there honestly guys out there my age that are on fire for the Lord? Because I seriously don't know any.

I don't want to just be in a relationship. I want a guy that is committed to me & spurs me on towards Christ's love all the more when I'm with him.

What Does Being Luke warm Accomplish?

2009-11-19T10:05:00.000-06:00

Something that God has been teaching me lately is how much more there is to life than being luke warm in our Faith. Let me ask you a question. What will you get by being luke warm? Not just in our walk with God, but in general. How many things will you get accomplished in your life if you never go out there & actually try?

It has made me beyond frustated lately when I see Christians dead in their faith. When I see they don't have a right to call themselves Christians by how they act. If God is in your heart, you can tell if you've CHANGED!! You can tell you are maturing as a follower of Christ & as a person if you have daily time with the Lord. It makes me beyond sick that I know alot of people who are searching for happiness in all the wrong places when they already know Jesus!! They search for it in relationships, I see that every day. In money, in friendships, in careers. When will people realize they will NEVER be happy in any of these situations until they're happy in a relationship with God alone?!!

Maybe we aren't really Christians if we act this way. What will happen if we keep this up & when we go to heaven God says, "Depart from me, I never knew you." What kind of example are we giving to non believers when we call ourselves Christains, but act the same way they do?! What happens when we let life pass us by? How much our life means to us when we grow in God & realize what our spiritual gift is.

"You can't reach the nations for the Gospel of Christ if you live a comfortable life, and you can't reach anyone if you live a compromising life." - Dr. Ed Pruitt.

So please, my fellow brothers & sisters in Christ, let's grow up & live up to calling ourselves Christians before we destroy that name entirely.